Unwrap the hilarity this holiday season with our jaw-dropping compilation of Bad Santa quotes that will have you questioning the festive spirit – because when it comes to non-classic Christmas movie one-liners, it’s either laughter or gasping silence!
Raw and Unapologetic Quotes from the Notorious Christmas Flick: Bad Santa. While not your typical holiday classic, Bad Santa promises an unforgettable Christmas movie experience.
In this irreverent film, Santa Claus is portrayed like never before. Meet Willie (Billy Bob Thornton) and his partner-in-crime Marcus (Tony Cox), who masquerades as festive characters to carry out their mischievous schemes.
These two don’t mince words and leave nothing unsaid.
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Why Read These Bad Santa Quotes?
This isn’t a film to gather the family around for, but amid its irreverence, there are still valuable takeaways:
- Not everyone finds the holidays joyful.
- Friendships can sprout in unexpected places.
- People are inherently flawed and wonderfully unique.
Released in 2003, this American Christmas dark comedy was directed by Terry Zwigoff and written by Glenn Ficarra and John Requa.
Alongside Billy Bob Thornton and Tony Cox, the cast includes Lauren Graham, Brett Kelly, Lauren Tom, John Ritter, and Bernie Mac.
Bad Santa received critical acclaim and achieved commercial success, grossing over $76 million worldwide. While a sequel, Bad Santa 2, was released on November 23, 2016, it didn’t quite match the original’s triumph.
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Provocative Remarks From Bad Santa
1. “Mind your own goddamn business.” – Willie
2. “No, I’m an accountant. I wear this f*cking thing as a fashion statement, alright?” – Willie
3. “You’re as queer as a ten-dollar bill.” – Hindustani Troublemaker
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4. “Are you off your f*cking meds or something?” – Willie
5. “Wanna see some magic? OK, let’s watch you disappear.” – Willie
6. “Well they all can’t be winners.” – Willie
7. “You said that yesterday, you stupid f*ck.” – Marcus
8. “You know what I see when I look at you? America’s got a sad future ahead of it.” – Gin
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9. “Marcus, get this kid off me before he pisses on me, all right?” – Willie
10. “Well, you smell like a bum’s nut sack.” – Willie
11. “I could stick you up my ass, small fry.” – Gin
12. “More booze, more bullshit, more butt-f*cking.” – Marcus
13. “I said, “Next,” goddamn it! This is not the DMV!” – Willie
14. “I weigh 92 pounds, you d*ck!” – Marcus
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Santa’s Most Memorable Quotes From Bad Santa
15. “OW! Watch the toenails, kid. Shit!” – Willie
16. “I’m not your f*ckin’ da da” – Willie
17. “If I call you next December, IF I call you next December, you’re gonna be so happy to hear from me, you’re gonna do a goddamn back flip. You’re gonna put that Santa hat on so fast that you’re gonna get f*cking hat-burn.” – Marcus
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18. “In case you didn’t notice, I’m a motherf*cking dwarf. So unless you got a forklift handy, maybe you should lend a hand, hmm?” – Marcus
19. “I’m on my f*cking lunch break, ok!” – Willie
20. “I wouldn’t be diggin’ in your ass!” – Marcus
21. “I hope that you got my present and that there wasn’t too much blood on it.” – Willie
22. “You are by far the dumbest, most pathetic piece of maggot eatin’ shit that has every slid from a human being’s hairy ass.” – Marcus
23. “Why don’t you wish in one hand, and shit in the other. See which one fills up first.” – Willie
24. “I’m an eating, drinking, shitting, f*cking Santy Claus.” – Willie
25. “ASSCLOWN!” – Hindustani Troublemaker
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Clearly, this isn’t your typical family-friendly Christmas flick, but it’s bound to tickle your funny bone when you’re up for some grown-up humor.
This movie pulls no punches, so choose your viewing companions wisely.
In an unexpected move, they even dropped an unrated version in 2004, with dialogue that goes all out on the edgy and risqué humor.
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