Welcome to a world of laughter and levity with our collection of “Hilarious Monday Funny Quotes.”
Mondays, often burdened with the weight of transitioning from leisure to work, can use a touch of humor to make the start of the week more bearable.
This curated compilation aims to do just that – to infuse your Mondays with a healthy dose of laughter and amusement.
We all know the feeling of facing the beginning of the workweek, but why not greet it with a smile?
These witty and comical quotes are here to remind us that even the most dreaded day of the week can be turned into an opportunity for a good chuckle.
Whether it’s poking fun at the Monday blues, sharing relatable workplace anecdotes, or simply finding joy in the absurdities of life, these quotes offer a refreshing perspective that resonates with anyone who’s ever wished for an extra day of weekend.
From humorous takes on the Monday morning struggle to playful jabs at the challenges of the workday, this compilation covers a wide range of topics that encapsulate the essence of Mondays.
So, if you’re in need of a mood boost, a laugh, or a quick break from the routine, these quotes are here to deliver.
Embrace the power of humor and let these “Hilarious Monday Funny Quotes” set the tone for a week filled with positivity, even amidst the busiest of schedules
Table Of Contents
Funny Monday Quotes
1. “When life gives you Monday, dip it in glitter and sparkle all day.” ― Ella Woodward
2. “Life is like Friday on a soap opera. It gives you the illusion that everything is going to wrap up, and then the same old shit starts up on Monday.” ― Stephen King
3. “I’ve always hated Mondays, the whole lot of them. Too much whiplash, snapping the tired masses to attention. God’s way, perhaps, of reminding us that we are not masters of our fate, no matter how deluded we became during the weekend respite.” ― Jonathan Hull, Losing Julia
4. “If each day is a “gift”, I’d like to know where I can return the Monday.”
5. “What we do on Sunday absolutely doesn’t matter unless it meets us on Monday. Changes us on Monday. Transforms us on Monday.”- Judah Smith
6. “Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.”
7. “I accept that it exists, but the day I like a Monday, I will be close to meeting human madness.”
8. “So. Monday. We meet again. We will never be friends – but maybe we can move past our mutual enmity toward a more positive partnership.” ― Julio Alexi Genao
9. “You are in control. Never allow your Monday to be manic.” ― Andrea L’Artiste
10. “Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.” ― Steven Wright
11. “Like the song says, rainy days and Mondays always get ya down.” ― Haruki Murakami
12. “There are no miracles on Mondays.” ― Amy Neftzger
13. “Monday is great for becoming too busy to die.”
14. “In the sentence: “I love Monday”, the guy is crazy, retired, or on vacation.”
15. ” If Monday were a person, it would be a boring friend who always forces us to do what we don’t want.”
16. “Monday: the day where coffee needs a coffee before facing me.”
17. “I’m not saying Mondays are the enemy, but they sure act like one.”
18. “Monday is the day I break up with my bed and start seeing other people… like my desk.”
19. “If Mondays were animals, they’d be that annoying bird that starts chirping way too early.”
20. “Dear Monday, I think we need to see other days of the week. Sincerely, Everyone.”
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Best Short Monday Funny Quotes
21. “Your Monday is not going to be like Saturday; the emotions are going to be different.” ― Jean Grae
22. “Monday is for people with a mission.” ― Christina Imre
23. “This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed.”
24. “Maybe Monday doesn’t like you either.”
25. “Dear Monday, my mama doesn’t like you and she likes everyone.”
26. “Monday I shall slay thee with me mighty cup of coffee.”
27. “Monday checklist: coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee.”
28. “I hate mornings and Mondays. And working. But other than that I am entirely happy.”
29. “It’s Monday but keep smiling.”
30. “Due to lack of interest. Monday has been canceled.”
31. “Don’t mess with anybody on a Monday. It’s a bad, bad day.” ― Louise Fitzhugh
32. “Candy is nature’s way of making up for Mondays.” ― Rebecca Gober
33. “I don’t like Mondays, especially if they occur on Fridays.” ― Jarod Kintz
34. “Everyday is Monday….till Friday.” ― Viktor VolksPrater
35. “Mondays are mundane, like Tuesdays minus 24 hours.” ― Jarod Kintz
36. “Monday is great for becoming too busy to die.” ― Roy Station
37. “Monday: nothing a bit of shopping can’t fix.”
38. “May your coffee be strong and your Monday productive.”
39. “If each day is a gift, I’d like to know where to return Mondays!” ― John Wagner
40. “There isn’t a Monday that would not cede its place to Tuesday.” ― Anton Chekhov
We have collection of good morning quotes prepared for each day of the week Good Morning Monday Quotes, Good Morning Tuesday Quotes, Good Morning Wednesday Quotes, Good Morning Thursday Quotes, Good Morning Friday Quotes, Good Morning Saturday Quotes and Good Morning Sunday Quotes.
Short Funny Quotes About Monday Morning
41. “Monday isn’t that bad to be honest, What makes it bad is living in it.” ― Day
42. “Don’t let the Monday morning quarterbacks stop you from being bold. You’ve got to set a high bar.” ― Antonio Villaraigosa
43. “Birds scream at the top of their lungs in horrified hellish rage every morning at daybreak to warn us all of the truth, but sadly we don’t speak bird.” — Kurt Cobain
44. “I wake up every morning at nine and grab for the morning paper. Then I look at the obituary page. If my name is not on it, I get up.” — Benjamin Franklin
45. “By and large I think art is made by people who have discipline married to talent in sufficiently large amounts to work even if they don’t feel like it. Anybody can get maudlin and decide to write poetry at 11 at night; the question is, can you do it at 8:30 on a Monday morning..?” ― Clive Barker
46. “This has been such a Monday! I wish I stayed in bed, and I wish that yesterday had never happened.” ― Lisa Mantchev
47. “If Saturday is like this, imagine Monday.
48. “Monday again? Is it every week now?”
49. “I bring bad news: tomorrow is Monday.”
50. “Monday is for people with a mission. Those who favor vacations, not weekends.” -Cristina Imre
51. “Set your clocks at the start of the weekend so that you know just how much fun time you get to have. Then smash your clocks so you won’t know when Monday starts.”
52. “The awfulness of Monday mornings is the world’s greatest common denominator.” ― Kenneth Fearing
53. “There are two tests in life, more important than any other test. On Monday morning, when you wake up, do you feel in the pit of your stomach you can’t wait to go to work? And when you’re ready to go home Friday afternoon, do you say, ‘I can’t wait to go home?’” ― Chuck Schumer
54. “Everyone wants me to be a morning person. I could be one, only if morning began after noon.” — Tony Smite
55. “On Monday mornings, I am dedicated to the proposition that all men have created jerks.” ― H. Allen Smith
56. “Morning is wonderful. Its only drawback is that it comes at such an inconvenient time of day.” — Glen Cook
57. “Every single day I wake up and make up my mind that I am going to work really hard. Then my mind laughs at me and says ‘Good joke.’ Then we laugh for some more time and I go back to bed.” — Gehenna Toss
58. “There are people who are like Monday: I don’t like it, I don’t want it and I don’t need it.”
59. “Monday is almost Tuesday, which is not so far from Wednesday which is neighboring Thursday, and Friday. Enjoy your day!”
60. “Enjoy every second of Sunday, for when you least expect Monday comes to haunt you.”
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Sarcastic Monday Quotes and Sayings
61. “If you’re too open-minded, your brains will fall out.” ― Lawrence Ferlinghetti
62. “I am in full possession of the amazing power of being sarcastic.” ― Sarah Rees Brennan
63. “I became insane with long periods intervals of horrible sanity.” ― Edgar Allen Poe
64. “Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.” ― Drew Carey
65. “Ah, Monday, the day that reminds us life’s a party and we’re all invited… to work.”
66. “Mondays are the universe’s way of testing our appreciation for the weekend.”
67. “Starting the week with enthusiasm is like finding a unicorn on a Monday morning.”
68. “Monday: the day we transform from weekend warriors to caffeine-powered professionals.”
69. “Dear Monday, I wasn’t ready to break up with my bed yet. Can we talk?”
70. “Monday mornings are like alarm clocks that went to the dark side.”
71. “Monday – because nothing says ‘welcome back’ like a pile of emails.”
72. “If Monday had a personality, it would definitely be the mischievous villain in the week’s story.”
73. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” ― Steven Wright
74. “Tuesday is Monday’s ugly sister.”
75. “Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?” ― Robin Williams
76. “Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.” ― Joan Crawford
77. Monday: when sarcasm becomes my superpower to battle the mundane.
78. “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
79. “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” ― Ashleigh Brilliant
80. “After Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says WTF.”
Funny Monday Motivation Quotes
81. “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” ― Charlie Chaplin
82. “Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.” ― Tina Fey
83. “Be happy, it drives people crazy.” — Paulo Coelho
84. “Nothing is impossible. The word itself says “I’m possible!” ― Audrey Hepburn
85. “When in doubt, throw doubt out and have a little faith….” ― E.A. Bucchianeri
86. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” — Sam Levenson
87. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” ― A. A. Milne
88. “Procrastinate now, don’t put it off.” ― Ellen DeGeneres
89. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar
90. “If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” ― Yogi Berra
91. “I’m an optimist, but an optimist who carries a raincoat.” ― Harold Wilson
92. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams
93. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” — Kyle Chandler
94. I really need a day in between Sunday and Monday.
95. It’s Monday. Get a new perspective. Whatever obstacle you’re facing—it’s not permanent.
96. “I must break the routines and become a person who becomes productive every Monday. I must break the mindset of unhappiness and turn myself into a happy magnet for Mondays.” ― Leggy Saul
97. “The challenge of every Monday is to maintain the same vitality in each and every day of the week.” ― Byron Pulsifer
98. “Do or do not. There is no try. “ — Yoda
99. “The biggest thrill wasn’t in winning on Sunday but in meeting the payroll on Monday.” ― Art Rooney
100. “Don’t underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.” ― Winnie the Pooh
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Funny Monday Work Quotes
101. “Coffee and determination: my two secret weapons for surviving the Monday meeting marathon.”
102. “If Mondays had a theme song, it would be the sound of collective sighs across the office.”
103. “My computer’s favorite word on a Monday? ‘Update.’ My favorite word? ‘Snooze.”
104. “Mondays are the days when my keyboard’s ‘escape’ key gets the most exercise.”
105. “Why does Monday always remind me that I need a vacation from my weekend?”
106. “Dear Monday, I think we should see other days of the week. Sincerely, Everyone.”
107. “Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.” — George Carlin
108. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald
109. “The reward for good work is more work.” — Francesca Elisia
110. “Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.” — Homer Simpson
111. “Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?” — Edgar Bergen
112. “On Mondays, I’m convinced my coffee needs a coffee before I can even begin to adult.”
113. “Monday: The day when I’m on a first-name basis with my alarm clock.”
114. “I’m not saying Mondays hate me, but they definitely enjoy throwing surprises at me.”
115. “In my life long study of human beings, I have found that no matter how hard they try, they have found no way yet to prevent the arrival of Monday morning. And they do try, of course, but Monday always comes, and all the drones have to scuttle back to their dreary workday lives of meaningless toin and suffering.” ― Jeff Lindsay
116. “Mondays are the start of the work week which offers new beginnings 52 times a year!” ― David Dweck
117. “Sunday just came down like a nine-pound hammer … it was tainted with the closing-in feeling of the loss of freedom. Because after the sun went down, it came back up on Monday morning. And you had to go to work five more days. And it sucked.” ― Larry Brown
118. “Employers are at their happiest on Mondays. Employees are at their happiest on Fridays.” ― Mokokoma Mokhonoana
119. “I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
120. “Sometimes it pays to stay in bed on Monday, rather than spending the rest of the week debugging Monday’s code.” ― Dan Salomon
Last Funny Quotes About Monday
121. “The only thing smoother than Monday’s exit is the way we handle its challenges – with a side of wit.”
122. “Monday’s departure is like the end of a comedy show – we laugh, we groan, and finally, we applaud its exit!”
123. “As Monday retreats, we salute the brave souls who managed to keep their coffee cups more full than their inboxes.”
124. “Adios, Monday! Your attempts at dampening our spirits were no match for our arsenal of witty comebacks.”
125. “With Monday’s departure, we gain more than just a day – we gain the satisfaction of surviving and thriving in the face of its antics!”
126. “Monday’s exit is like a magician’s disappearing act – the only disappearing act we actually applaud!”
127. “Farewell, Monday! You’ve given us enough material to keep our office banter going all week.
Mondays bid adieu, leaving behind a trail of coffee cups and a chorus of sighs.”
128. “If there was a day of the week I could skip it would be Monday. Clients had too much time to think and worry over a long weekend and by Monday they were often riddled with fear and anxiety.” ― Stan Turner
129. “You can write the best column in the world on Monday, and it does you absolutely no good on Tuesday.” ― Lewis Grizzard
130. “As Monday waves goodbye, we can finally switch from ‘survival mode’ to ‘let’s conquer the rest of the week!”
131. “Monday, you came, you annoyed, you left – and we’re still here, thriving on humor!”
132. “Mondays are a lot like getting fat. They make you feel sad, sometimes angry and there is not much scope for liking either fat or Mondays for any reason.” ― Garry Moll
134. “There is nothing more dreadful than having to go walking on one’s own on Monday.” ― Thomas Bernhard
135. “Today I am doing better than yesterday, and tomorrow I hope to be doing better than I am today. And two days from now? Well, that’s a Monday, so I’ll be feeling shitty.” ― Jarod Kintz
136. “What about Monday? That could be one day we look at things the same way and wear funny shoes.” ― Kevin Dalton
137. “If I could, I’d give up Mondays to have her love again. Actually, forget her love, I’d give up Mondays for free.” ― Jarod Kintz
138. “Monday is a sloppy umbrella day, which makes everybody a little blue.” ― George Leedy
139. “When you’re young and healthy you can plan on Monday to commit suicide, and by Wednesday you’re laughing again.” ― Marilyn Monroe
140. “Someday is not a day of the week.” — Denise Brennan-Nelson
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Funny Quotes of the Day
141. “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it… especially if it’s chocolate!”
142. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of corny jokes!”
143. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.”
144. “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right… with a touch of sarcasm.”
145. “My bed and I have the perfect relationship. We’re constantly hugging it out every morning.”
146. “Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.”
147. “I’m not lazy; I’m just in energy-saving mode… indefinitely.”
148. “Wednesdays are like Mondays in the middle of the week!” – Lee Fox Williams
149. “Thursday is perhaps the worst day of the week. It’s nothing in itself; it just reminds you that the week has been going on too long” – Nicci French
150. “I wish you a tolerable Thursday. That’s all any of us can hope for.” – April Winchell
151. “Happy Friday! Here’s to all of us who made it through another week of faking adulthood.” – Nanea Hoffman
152. “It’s 4:58 on Friday afternoon. Do you know where your margarita is?” ― Amy Neftzger
153. “Oh, my sweet Saturday, I have been waiting for you for six long days.” – Charmaine J. Forde
154. “I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday.” – Anna Scott
155. “Happiness is a hot bath on a Sunday afternoon.” – A.D. Posey
156. “The goal of Sunday is to leave my home as little as possible.” – Mark Morris
157. “Why does winter feel like one big Tuesday?” – Todd Stocker
158. “Tuesday is the most sensible day of the week.” – Emily P. Freeman
159. “No one likes Tuesday morning but at least it’s not Monday morning.” – Bev Johnston
160. “A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.” – Demetri Martin
Looking for unique and heartfelt messages to share with loved ones? Check out our list of morning blessings and quotes:
- Monday Good Morning Blessings
- Tuesday Morning Blessings
- Wednesday Morning Blessings
- Thursday Good Morning Blessings
- Friday Good Morning Blessings
- Saturday Good Morning Blessings
- Sunday Blessing Quotes
Funny Monday Captions
161. “Monday called. It wants a do-over!”
162. “When in doubt, blame it on Monday.”
163. “I run on coffee and ridiculous Monday vibes.”
164. “Coffee: because Monday can’t start without a dramatic entrance.”
165. “My Monday morning face deserves an award… for scaring people away!”
166. “Dear Monday, I’m breaking up with you. Sincerely, Everyone.”
167. “Monday: the day even coffee needs extra coffee.”
168. “If Monday had a theme song, it would be a horror movie soundtrack.”
169. “Monday: the day reality checks in after a weekend of dreams.”
170. “Monday motivation: just pretending I’m on the weekend’s extended layover.”
171. “Smile, it’s Monday! Or at least try not to frown too much.”
172. “My Monday goal? Survive. My Monday strategy? Sarcasm.”
173. “Not to alarm you, but it’s Monday again. Proceed with caution.”
174. “Monday: the only day I can manage to put my shoes on the wrong feet.”
175. “Just trying to find the ‘snooze’ button for this never-ending Monday.”
176. “Monday: the day that tests my relationship with my alarm clock.”
177. “Roses are red, Mondays are blue. I need a nap, how about you?”
178. “When life gives you Mondays, make it a comedy routine.”
179. “Monday: because nothing says ‘fun’ like adult responsibilities.”
180. “Note to self: create an ‘un-Monday’ day of the week.”
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Funny New Week Quotes
181. “New week, new coffee strategy: survival mode activated!”
182. “Warning: Monday approaching. Please ensure your sense of humor is fully charged.”
183. “When life gives you Mondays, dip them in glitter and make them fabulous!”
184. “I’m not saying Monday hates me, but it sure has a funny way of showing it.”
185. “Monday is the day that reminds me I have 5 more days of poor life decisions left.”
186. “Dear Monday, I think we need to see other days of the week.”
187. “Just another manic Monday? More like ‘just another reason to drink more coffee’ Monday!”
188. “Monday is the day I try to figure out if I’m still asleep and this is all a nightmare.”
189. “Monday: the day my alarm clock plays a cruel joke on my dreams.”
190. “May your coffee be strong and your Monday be short, just like your attention span.”
191. “Monday is the day I count how many cups of coffee it takes to get through the week.”
192. “If Mondays were shoes, they’d definitely be crocs.”
193. “Monday is like a math problem. Add irritations, subtract sleep, multiply problems, and divide sanity.”
194. “The only way to enjoy Monday is to have a Saturday and Sunday in between.”
195. “Monday is proof that the weekend went by way too quickly.”
196. “I’m not anti-Monday; I’m just pro four-day weekend.”
197. “Monday is a reminder that life is one big, ongoing coffee emergency.”
198. “The secret to surviving Monday? A smile that confuses your coworkers.”
199. “Monday is a tough crowd. Let’s see if I can get a laugh out of it.”
200. “If Mondays were animals, they’d definitely be Monday days – a rare breed of grumpy.”
Summing UP
Injecting laughter into the start of the week, Hilarious Monday Funny Quotes offer a comedic perspective on the dreaded day. These witty one-liners and clever quips turn Monday blues into contagious chuckles, reminding us that a good laugh is the best way to tackle the week ahead.