Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven’t had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
You never know how much a man can’t remember until he is called as a witness.
The short memories of American voters is what keeps our politicians in office.
I like to hear a man talk about himself because then I never hear anything, but good.
So live that you would not mind selling your pet parrot to the town gossip
Politicians can do more funny things naturally than I can think of to do purposely
I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
If we ever pass out as a great nation we ought to put on our tombstone ‘America died from a delusion that she had moral leadership’.
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but can think of nothing to do when it gets there.
A man that don’t love a horse, there is something the matter with him.
Civilization has taught us to eat with a fork, but even now if nobody is around we use our fingers.
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don’t have for something they don’t need.
The nation is prosperous on the whole, but how much prosperity is there in a hole?
One of the evils of democracy is, you have to put up with the man you elect whether you want him or not.
We don’t give our criminals much punishment, but we sure give ’em plenty of publicity.
Don’t gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don’t go up, don’t buy it.
I guess truth can hurt you worse in an election than about anything that can happen to you.