1. I don’t like to commit myself about heaven and hell – you see, I have friends in both places.-Mark Twain
2. Never join with your friend when he abuses his horse or his wife, unless the one is about to be sold, the other to be buried.-Charles Caleb Colton
3. A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.-Bernard Meltzer
4. When you’re in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, ‘Damn, that was fun.’-Groucho Marx
5. Friends are people who know you really well and like you anyway.-Greg Tamblyn
6. You can always tell a real friend: when you’ve made a fool of yourself he doesn’t feel you’ve done a permanent job.-Laurence J. Peter
7. One sure way to lose another woman’s friendship is to try to improve her flower arrangements.-Marcelene Cox
8. There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money-Benjamin Franklin
9. It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.-Ralph Waldo Emerson
10. A good friend will help you move. But a best friend will help you move a dead body.-Jim Hayes
11. There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.-Linda Grayson
12. A good friend is a connection to life – a tie to the past, a road to the future, the key to sanity in a totally insane world.-Lois Wyse
13. You don’t lose friends because real friends can never be lost. You lose people masquerading as friends and you’re better for it-Mandy Hale
14. Men kick friendship around like a football and it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it falls to pieces.-Anne Lindbergh
15. Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and to have her nonsense respected.-Charles Lamb
16. Friendship will not stand the strain of very much good advice for very long.-Robert Staughton Lynd
17. The imaginary friends I had as a kid dropped me because their friends thought I didn’t exist.-Aaron Machado
18. I have lost friends, some by death…others by sheer inability to cross the street.-Virginia Woolf
19. Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.-Friedrich Nietzsche
20. Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.-Silican proverb
21. I bet dying vultures have lots of awkward moments with their friends.-Guy Endore-Kaiser
22. Show me a genuine case of platonic friendship, and I shall show you two old or homely faces.-Austin O’Malley
23. My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven’t met yet. She’s now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.-Dame Edna Everage
24. Friends and good manners will carry you where money won’t go.-Margaret Walker
25. You can’t make a circle of friends with a compass.-Stanislaw Jerzy Lec
26. When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier-Diane Von Furstenberg
27. Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.-Groucho Marx
28. I’ve always said that in politics, your enemies can’t hurt you, but your friends will kill you.-Ann Richards
29. A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.-Elbert Hubbard
30. Whoever says Friendship is easy has obviously never had a true friend!-Bronwyn Polson