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Funny Life Quotes That Help You To Stay Happy

Funny Life Quotes That Help You To Stay Happy

1. Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.-Elbert Hubbard

 

2. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter-Mark Twain

 

3. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.-Lily Tomlin

 

4. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?-Woody Allen

 

5. Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.-Billie Burke

 

6. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.-Jimmy Durante

 

7. Life is like a roll of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.-Rudyh

 

8. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.-Anthony Burgess

 

9. If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z – keeping your mouth shut.-Albert Einstein

 

10. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake-Bob Hope

 

11. You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.-Hannah Marks

 

12. Life is funny, when you are young you want to be older and those that are older wish to be younger.-Karon Waddell

 

13. Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.-Sam Levenson

 

14. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience-Mark Twain

 

15. You may not always end up where you thought you were going, But you will always end up where you were meant to be.-Jessica taylor

 

16. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!-Billy Connolly

 

17. The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time.-Joe Girard

 

18. I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.-Charles M. Schulz

 

19. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.-Criss Jami

 

20. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too-Rodney Dangerfield

 

21. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.-Steven Wright

 

22. The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.-Albert Einstein

 

23. Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.-Brooke Shields

 

24. People will laugh at anything, except their own moronic self.-Fakeer Ishavardas

 

25. Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.-Criss Jami

 

26. The fact that we’re all different is the one thing we all have in common.-Justin Young

 

27. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.-Kyle Chandler

 

28. Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.-Charles M. Schulz

 

29. The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion-Fred Allen

 

30. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.– A. A. Milne

 

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