1. Don’t take life too seriously. You’ll never get out of it alive.-Elbert Hubbard
2. Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter-Mark Twain
3. I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.-Lily Tomlin
4. There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?-Woody Allen
5. Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.-Billie Burke
6. Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.-Jimmy Durante
7. Life is like a roll of toilet paper; hopefully long and useful, but it always ends at the wrong moment.-Rudyh
8. Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.-Anthony Burgess
9. If A is success in life, then A is equal to X plus Y plus Z. Work is X; Y is play; and Z – keeping your mouth shut.-Albert Einstein
10. You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake-Bob Hope
11. You are only young once, but you can be immature forever.-Hannah Marks
12. Life is funny, when you are young you want to be older and those that are older wish to be younger.-Karon Waddell
13. Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is; we’ll find it.-Sam Levenson
14. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience-Mark Twain
15. You may not always end up where you thought you were going, But you will always end up where you were meant to be.-Jessica taylor
16. Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!-Billy Connolly
17. The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time.-Joe Girard
18. I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.-Charles M. Schulz
19. Everyone has a sense of humor. If you don’t laugh at jokes, you probably laugh at opinions.-Criss Jami
20. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too-Rodney Dangerfield
21. If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.-Steven Wright
22. The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.-Albert Einstein
23. Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.-Brooke Shields
24. People will laugh at anything, except their own moronic self.-Fakeer Ishavardas
25. Tolerance! The virtue that makes one bite his tongue so that he can tear out his hair.-Criss Jami
26. The fact that we’re all different is the one thing we all have in common.-Justin Young
27. Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.-Kyle Chandler
28. Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.-Charles M. Schulz
29. The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion-Fred Allen
30. People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.– A. A. Milne