Festive Funniest National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Quotes

Step into the time machine with these uproarious National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation quotes, transporting you back to the 80s for a side-splitting holiday extravaganza!

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, the third installment in the Vacation film series, is a 1989 American family comedy written by John Hughes.

Based on Hughes’ short story ‘Christmas ’59‘, published in National Lampoon, it unveils a hilarious holiday misadventure.

You May Also Like: Lighten Up Your Yuletide With These Funny Christmas Quotes

Discover the roots of National Lampoon, a multifaceted humor magazine that thrived from 1970 to 1998, giving birth to numerous movies, radio shows, live performances, and books.

For many, including my husband, this film is a cherished Christmas classic. Join Chicago native Clark Griswold in his spirited quest for the perfect family Christmas, a relatable holiday pursuit that takes unexpected turns.

Directed by Jeremiah S. Chechik, this timeless gem stars Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, and Randy Quaid, earning critical acclaim and amassing over $71 million in the United States.

Read More: Easter Inspiration: Uplifting Quotes To Brighten Your Day

Continue the holiday hilarity with iconic quotes from Cousin Eddie, Aunt Bethany, and the lovable Griswold crew!

National Lampoon Christmas Vacation Quotes

Hilarious Quotes From National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

1. “She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don’t know.” — Cousin Eddie

2. “Clark, I’d like to try to fumigate this here chair, it’s a good quality item. If you don’t mind my askin’, how much did she set you back?” — Cousin Eddie

3. “If that thing had nine lives, he just spent ‘em all.” — Cousin Eddie

4. “Save the neck for me, Clark.” — Cousin Eddie

5. “And if it wouldn’t be too much, I’d like to get something for you, Clark… something real nice.” — Cousin Eddie

You May Also Like: 100+Heartwarming Christmas Quotes Family Members Love To Cherish

6. “You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.” — Uncle Lewis

7. “I’m sorry, this is our family’s first kidnapping.” — Ellen Griswold

8. “That right there is an RV, I got it off my buddy, and I sold him my house for that right there vehicle.” — Cousin Eddie

9. “What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?” — Grandpa Art

10. “Think you might be overdoing it, Dad?” — Rusty Griswold

You May Also Like This: Inspirational Easter Quotes For A Season Of Rebirth And Renewal

Best National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation Quotes

11. “Oh dear, did I break wind?” — Aunt Bethany

12. “Merry Christmas! Sh*tter was full!” — Cousin Eddie

13. “Last season he was a pixie dust speaker on the Tilt-A-Whirl. He thinks that next year he’ll be guessing people’s weight or barkin’ for the yak lady.” — Cousin Eddie

14. “Better take a rain check on that, Art- He’s got a lip fungus they ain’t identified yet.” — Cousin Eddie

15. “Clark, were stuck under a truck!” — Ellen Griswold

16. “I don’t want to spend the holidays DEAD!” — Ellen Griswold

You May Also Like: 75 Inspirational Christmas Quotes To Brighten Your Holiday Season

17. “If only I had that money Catherine and I gave to that TV preacher who was screwin that hockey player.” — Cousin Eddie

18. “Is your house on fire, Clark?” — Aunt Bethany

19. “I don’t know what to say, except it’s Christmas and we’re all in misery.” — Ellen Griswold

20. “Get me somebody, anybody. And get me somebody while I’m waiting.” — Frank Shirley

21. “You about ready to do some kissin’?” — Cousin Eddie

22. “Don’t throw me down, Clark.” — Aunt Bethany

23. “You ain’t never seen a set on a dog like this one’s got, Clark.” — Cousin Eddie

24. “They had to replace my metal plate with a plastic one. Every time Catherine would rev up the microwave, I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour.” — Cousin Eddie

Conclusion

You May Also Like This: Christmas Eve Quotes

Memorable scenes from the movie include their quest for the perfect tree. Clark, along with his wife Ellen and children Audrey and Rusty, embarks on a snowy adventure into the countryside to find it.

After hours of trudging through the snow, Clark settles on the grandest tree, only to realize they’ve forgotten the necessary tools. Determined, the family uproots the entire tree, securing it to their car.

You May Also Like: 50 Christmas Movie Quotes For Festive Souls

Then comes the comical squabbling and the epic 25,000-light fiasco. Christmas Eve dinner turns chaotic, culminating in Aunt Bethany’s cat encountering an electrifying mishap!

Little wonder it became the highest-grossing film in the series, a record held until the release of Vacation in 2015. These moments are bound to have viewers chuckling and reminiscing about their own holiday hiccups.