Inspirational Quotes

40 Step Brother Quotes Which Will Definitely Make You Laugh

step brothers

1. “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” -Dale Doback


2.“Gotta have my boats and hoes!” -Dale Doback


3.“You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” -Dale Doback


4.“You know what gets my dick hard? Helping out my friends.” -Derek


5.“Did we just become best friends?” -Brennan Huff


6.“Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” -Brennan Huff


7.“You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.” -Brennan Huff


8.“I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” -Derek


9.“Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one. Go!” -Dale Doback


10.“On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.” -Dale Doback


11.“One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” -Dale Doback


12.“Don’t lose your dinosaur.” -Robert Doback


13.“Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” -Dale Doback


14.“Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your ass.” -Brennan Huff


15.“Your drumset is a whore! I tea bagged your drumset!” -Brennan Huff


16.“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!” -Brennan Huff


17.“Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” -Dale Doback


18.“I’m fucking miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” -Dale Doback


19.“Brennan, Denise called and she said she can’t spend New Year’s Eve with you because she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your therapist.” -Nancy


20.“Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” -Dale


21.“Why are you so sweaty?” -Dale


22.“I was watching cops.” -Brennan


23.“That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.” -Dale


24.“Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” -Brennan


25.“I’m going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!” -Brennan


26.“This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.” -Dale


27.“What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” -Brennan


28.”My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!” -Brennan


29.”Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.” -Nancy


30.”Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” -Derek


31.”You don’t even look good when you’re singing.” – Derek


32.”I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my vagina.” -Alice


34.”I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!” -lumberjack Brennan


35.”We sail around the world and go port to port / Every time I come I produce a quart” -Prestige Worldwide


36.”I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my penis!” -Brennan


37.“Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” -Derek


38. “You know what I got for Christmas? A crushed soul!”-Dr. Robert Doback


39. “When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur.” -Dr. Robert Doback


40.“Boats ‘n’ hoes, boats ‘n’ hoes / I gotta have me my boats and hoes.”

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