It can be difficult to unravel guilt and long-winded. It’s natural to feel guilt for decisions made that we’ve done in the past, before we were aware or there was a difference in us. Sometimes, however we feel guilty for things we didn’t do or for things that could be positive in our lives, such as earning more money or receiving an increase in position. Success comes with many advantages, but one disadvantage is that many people feel guilty about achieving the financial success that others haven’t.
Check out this week’s episode on the Rich and Regular podcast. We talk about the guilt of success and further read for some suggestions on how to get past the guilt.
Accept Your Guilt
Being aware of the kind level of feeling you’re experiencing is an excellent first step. If you’ve made a mistake or against someone else guilt is your moral compass. It should let you know that your actions were wrong and that you must apologize or rectify the situation. However, often, instead of acting as a barometer for your actions, the guilt is obscured by other emotions, such as anger, fear, or sadness and, in the course of time, become difficult to sort out. In fact, excessive guilt could be an indication of trauma and unintentionally triggered emotions.
If we are feeling anxiety that comes with success, we may think that we aren’t enough to enjoy the positive events in our lives, or even that we “got lucky” where someone did not. Even though that may be the case but it depends on the specifics of the situation there is a good chance that at the very least a portion of the reason you were lucky was due to the effort you put into it.
Reducing the amount of work you’ve done does not make others shine more brighter, it just keeps you feeling inadequate. The process of overcoming guilt will take time and energy, so be sure you allow yourself time. Consider the suggestions listed below that can help get rid of the guilt that you feel and get on with your life.
How Do You Define Your Achievement
The majority of us associate success with having lots of money, however it doesn’t need to be the only way to define success for you. If you’ve achieved financial success according to society’s standards, that’s wonderful and deserves to be recognized. However, remember that success isn’t solely about the sum of money you have in your account. There are many ways to be successful.
A lot of professions and jobs aren’t well-paid, and that’s not an indicator of you so more as it is a reflection on the values of society. Comparing your achievements to your family members, friends, or parents will only result in comparison and create resentment and anger.
When you are looking into your guilt, you should sit down in your journal and work to define the meaning of success for you, and the reasons why you may feel guilty for it. Do this by considering these questions:
- If you think about the word”success,” are there any memories or images of your childhood pop up?
- What did you learn concerning successful persons from your parents as when you were a kid?
- How do you wish for success to be throughout your day?
- What can make your success feel good for you?
- What do you want your children determine success (if appropriate)?
Don’t Compare Your Self-worth With Numbers In Dollars
No matter if you’re financially successful, keep in mind that your worth isn’t dependent on your bank account or the amount of money you have in your portfolio. Stay grounded and mindful of your worth when you’re with people who tend to talk about how much money they have or make comments about how great you’re doing or claim that you owe them something in exchange for your accomplishments.
If these remarks cause you to feel devalued or make you feel like less than you’re worth, think about getting away from the person for a few days so you’re clear for yourself regarding your finances and the way do you perceive the achievements you’ve had and the emotions you’re experiencing about it.
Ask For Assistance
Resolving the feelings of shame, guilt and anger is extremely difficult and is best done by a qualified counselor, counsellor or mentor you trust. It’s tempting to tackle the issue by yourself or write down your feelings and do nothing about them, but this will only make the guilt (or shame) rise.
Talking about your feelings with a trusted therapist will help your feelings to dissipate and put them into the proper context. Engaging with a qualified counselor can help you save time and energy while you work to understand these tangled emotions.
Continue To Move Forward
Understanding and dealing with the guilt you feel is a long and exhausting process, but it could allow you to get more peace and clarity in your daily routine. There are things that we all do in our lives that we would prefer not to have done, yet we frequently feel guilt that’s not to us. Being aware of the distinction between guilt you have to accept and correct and the guilt you’re carrying on behalf of someone else could aid you in setting healthy boundaries as well as take steps towards greater success.