The conversations you hold with yourself can prove to be an important way to get there or a hurdle to achieving your goals. If your inner dialogue says, “I’m going to embarrass myself,” or “No one is going to talk to me,” when you step into the bar it’s likely that you won’t look comfortable and friendly. If you’re thinking “I’m never going to get this job,” when you’re in an interview, it’s likely that you’ll be struggling with how to portray yourself in a professional way. In many cases, these negative thoughts could quickly become an unfulfilling prediction.
Your thoughts can affect the way you behave and feel, which can cause self-talk that is negative to turn out to be self-destructive. The thought of telling yourself that you’ll never succeed or that you’re not as successful as others can diminish your sense of self-worth, and prevent you from confronting your fears.
If you’re too critical of yourself If you’re prone to being overly critical of yourself, you’re not the. A majority of people suffer from self-doubt as well as brutal self-reflections. But, fortunately, you don’t need to be victimized by the abuse you’ve received from yourself. Instead, you can actively address negative thoughts and create an effective dialogue with yourself.
Table Of Contents
- Here Are Seven Methods To Manage Your Inner Critic
- 1. Make Sure You Are Aware Of Your Thoughts
- 2. Stop Contemplating
- 3. Consider What Advice You Would Give Your Friend
- 4. Review The Evidence
- 5. Replace Critical Thinking With More Accurate Assertions
- 6. Think About How Disastrous It Could Be If These Thoughts Were To Be True
- 7. Acceptance And Self-improvement Must Be Balanced
- The Power of Your Inner Dialogue
Here Are Seven Methods To Manage Your Inner Critic
1. Make Sure You Are Aware Of Your Thoughts
We become so comfortable with our own voices that we are easily blind to the messages we’re transmitting to ourselves. Be aware of your thoughts and be aware of the fact that simply because you believe that something isn’t necessarily real. The thoughts we think about tend to be overblown as well as biased, which can be disproportionate. (See my earlier piece The 10 Mistakes in Thinking that will hold you back In Your Life).
2. Stop Contemplating
If you’ve made a mistake or have an awful day, you might be tempted by the temptation to replay the same events repeatedly in your mind. However, constantly recalling the embarrassing act you committed or the shady statement you made, can just cause you to feel worse, and it will not solve the issue.
If you’re constantly thinking about something – but not actively solving problems – stop thinking “Don’t think about that.” The more you attempt to keep from being distracted by something, the more likely to be focused on the issue. Instead, try distracting yourself by doing something else such as walks, organizing your desk, or even talking about something totally different and then stop your critical thoughts before they get into chaos.
3. Consider What Advice You Would Give Your Friend
If someone you know expressed self-doubt, you wouldn’t comment, “You can’t ever do anything right,” or “You’re too stupid. Nobody likes you.” However it’s not uncommon to make those statements to ourselves. Instead you’d rather provide a friend with kind words of encouragement such as “You made a mistake but it’s not the end of the world,” or “It’s unlikely that today’s performance will actually get you fired.” Be like you would your friend, and then apply these affirmations to your own life.
4. Review The Evidence
Recognize the signs that your thoughts are overblown negative. If you are thinking, “I’m never going to be able to quit my job and run my own business,” look at the evidence that proves or challenges this belief. Sometimes, it’s helpful to note it down. Draw a line in the middle of the paper. Then, on one hand, you should list the evidence to support your opinion. On the other hand, note all evidence in opposition. Examining evidence from both sides will help you evaluate the issue more objectively and not as emotionally.
5. Replace Critical Thinking With More Accurate Assertions
Change a negative thinking into more realistic and rational thought. If you’re contemplating, “I never do anything right,” substitute the thought with a more balanced one such as, “Sometimes I do things really well and sometimes I don’t.” Every time you think of an over-inflated negative thought, you can respond with a more accurate and logical explanation.
6. Think About How Disastrous It Could Be If These Thoughts Were To Be True
Sometimes , it’s tempting to think of the possibility of a mistake that could turn into a catastrophe. In reality, the worst-case scenario isn’t as severe as we think it is. For instance, if believe that you’ll make yourself look embarrassed when you deliver the presentation, think about what the consequences would be? If you were to embarrass yourself then are you in a position to overcome it or do you believe it could be the end of your career? The thought of reminding yourself that you are able to face challenges or tough times boosts your confidence and reduces the ever-present flurry of worrying thoughts.
7. Acceptance And Self-improvement Must Be Balanced
There’s a big difference between affirming that you’re never adequate and constantly telling yourself that you can strive to improve. Accept your shortcomings as they are, however, you must decide to focus on the issues you wish to tackle. While it may sound counterintuitive it is possible to do both simultaneously.
Accept the fact that you feel anxious when it comes to social situations, but making the decision to get more comfortable public speaking. Accepting your shortcomings for the way they are does not necessarily mean you should remain this way. Recognize that you’re not perfect, however, you must decide to continue to be a work in development as you strive to be better.
The Power of Your Inner Dialogue
Your inner thoughts can be a catalyst for your success or stop you from reaching your maximum potential . Although your inner critic may assist you in identifying areas you’d like to make improvements, a harsh self-talking style can result in your performance being affected and lower the odds that you’ll achieve your goals. Learn to control your inner critic and shut out the negative thoughts to guide yourself in a positive and constructive way.