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Adam Sandler Quotes Expressing Funny Take On Life and Relationship

Adam Sandler

Adam Sandler is an American actor, comedian, writer, and producer who was born on September 9, 1966, in Brooklyn, New York. He first gained popularity in the 1990s as a cast member on “Saturday Night Live” before transitioning to a successful career in Hollywood films.

Sandler has starred in a number of successful comedies, including “Happy Gilmore,” “The Waterboy,” “Big Daddy,” and “Grown Ups,” among others. He is known for his distinctive comedic style, which often includes a mix of physical humor, absurdity, and sarcastic wit.

In addition to acting, Sandler has also produced and written several of his films, as well as producing a number of television shows and movies through his production company, Happy Madison Productions.

Despite mixed critical reviews, Sandler’s films have been hugely popular with audiences and have grossed billions of dollars at the box office. He has also been recognized with numerous awards and nominations for his work, including a Golden Globe nomination for his performance in “Punch-Drunk Love.”

Adam Sandler Movie Quotes

1. “I have so much strength in me, you have no idea. I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.”

2. “Why didn’t you just go HOME? That’s your HOME! Are you too good for your HOME? ANSWER ME!”

3. “Popeye’s chicken is fuckin’ awesome!”

4.  “T-T-T-TODAY JUNIOR!”

5. “Well I have a microphone, and you don’t, SO YOU WILL LISTEN TO EVERY DAMN WORD I HAVE TO SAY!”

Adam Sandler Quotes from Movies

6. “I don’t know who I touch and who I don’t. I work hard trying to make people laugh. I try to do the kind of stuff that made me laugh growing up. I don’t have any secrets. I don’t know the reasons I’ve been so well received.”

7.  “Chlorophyll? More like BOREophyll!”

8. “The price is wrong, bitch!”

9. “We’re living in a material world and I am a material girl, or boy.”

10. “Hey! You just made the biggest mistake of your life, baby. I know you’re gonna be missing me when you have that big, white, wrinkly body on you with his loose skin and old balls. Gross!”

11. “Are you mad that you died at the end of ‘Die Hard?’”

12. “I don’t know how to fight, I’m a comedian!”

13. “For the record, every time I laughed at one of your jokes, I was faking it.”

14. “I don’t wanna go to jail. I’m fragile.”

15. “I ain’t fartin’ on no snare drum.”

16. “This is a ’70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy’s dick has sideburns.”

17. “Gee, you know, that information really would have been more useful to me…”

18. “I bet you know what it’s like to get all riled up, Johnny Mac.”

19. “You’re my closest friend…”

20. “…and I don’t even like you.”

Adam Sandler Quotes About Love

21. “I have love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.”

22. “I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only….Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.”

Adam Sandler Quotes on Love

23. “My sisters are stronger and my brother’s bigger than me.”

24. “I think when I bought a house, that’s when I thought I felt like that’s a grown-up thing to do.”

25. “I enjoy doing all different types of movies even though I am the most comfortable with comedy.”

26. “My father used to wear the same pants for like a week.”

27. “Sixth grade was a big-time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.”

28. “I am good. You know what, you’re a lousy kindergarten teacher. I’ve seen those finger-paintings you bring home and they suck.”

29. “Well, we’re living in a material world, and I’m a material girl… or boy.”

30. “They should name a gender after you. Looking at you doesn’t do it, staring is the only way that makes sense. And trying not to blink so you don’t miss anything…and all of that and you’re you.”

31. “My movies just kind of sneak up on you. I don’t have to worry too much about what everybody is going to say. Anyway, I really don’t pay attention to what the world says about my movies. I just care about what my buddies think.”

32. “I don’t know what drives me to succeed…I know I want to always do the best I can. I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn’t the best at that.”

33. “Chubbs: What are you doing? Happy Gilmore: 364 days until next year’s hockey tryouts, I have to toughen up.”

34. “I should just try to get the ball in one shot every time.”

35. “I’m stupid…you’re smart. I was wrong…you were right. You’re the best…I’m the worst. You’re very good-looking…I’m not attractive.”

36. “I do love the films I’ve done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we’re trying to make people laugh and I’m very proud of that.”

37. “I prefer musicals because I am the best dancer who ever lived. The best plies, the best sashays, and by far the best-smelling Capezios.”

38. “Please get out of my Van Halen t-shirt before you jinx the band and they break up.”

39. “Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance…me…and I’m pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns…and basically everybody at table nine.”

40. “Everything I do, it’s not going right, and I don’t know what to do.”

41. “I don’t know how to fight, I’m a comedian!”

42.“Feels good to try, but playing a father, I’m getting a little older. I see now that I’m taking it more seriously and I do want that lifestyle.”

43. “First I asked her what time it is, right? Tomorrow, I get to ask her the date, the day after that she’s all over me. That’s how it works, you play it slow.”

44. “It’s hard to soar with the eagles when you’re surrounded by turkeys.”

45. “Some might call it luck. I like to call it.. well, luck, I guess. So what?”

46. “I’d love to punch that guy in the face right now. But I can’t, you know, because I’d get in trouble. I bet you get a lot of that on “Let’s Make A Deal.”

47. “Stay here. Stay as long as you can.”

48. “I’ll turn this d*** bus around. ”

49. “Oh really, fool?”

50. “You eat pieces of s—t for breakfast?”

Adam Sandler Funny Quotes

51. “Sometimes I feel like an idiot. But I am an idiot so it kinda works out.”

52. “If peeing in your pants is cool, consider me Miles Davis.”

53. “What is a horseshoe? What does a horseshoe do? Are there any horse socks? Is anybody listening to me?”

54. “I am the smartest man alive!”

Adam Sandler Funny Quotes

55. “May God have mercy on your soul.”

56. “Well ‘sorry’ doesn’t put the Triscuit crackers in my stomach now does it, Carl?”

57. “Stop looking at me, Swan!”.

58.  “Don’t tell me my business, devil woman!”

59. “You ain’t cool unless you pee your pants.”

60. “O’Doyle rules!”

61. “I don’t want to go to jail!”

62. “Now that’s what I call high quality H20!”

63. “I’m glad I called that guy.”

64. “Damn you!”

65. “Church tongue…”

Adam Sandler Success Quotes

66. “The idea of my kids being spoiled, I go to sleep thinking about it and I wake up thinking about. With the amount of money I have, it’s difficult raising children the way I was raised.”

67. “I shouldn’t be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.”

68. “I never know what’s coming next. I definitely yell at people in my life going, ‘What the f**k am I doing next?!,’ a lot. But I don’t really ever know what’s happening.”

69. “One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.”

70. “When I take my kid to school, all the parents stop and stare.”

71. “I think the reason I don’t read is because, when I’m reading, I feel like I’m missing out on something else. You know, what are my friends doing? Where’s my girlfriend?”

Adam Sandler Quotes on Success

72. “…Some of their mothers yell at me, tell me I have corrupted their child, influenced them to pee on walls. So I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hugged me for.”

73. “I’ve always just had troubles with my family because I’m psychotic. It had nothing to do with that.”

74. “Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.”

75. “My comedy is different every time I do it. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. ”

76. “I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.”

77. “I sang a song at my sister’s wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right. ”

78. “I’ve been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I’m driving, I hear

79. “I’m a moron. I like being a moron.”

80. “A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I’ve always worked hard.”

81. “I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.”

82. “I’ve always wanted to do a family movie. ”

83. “The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don’t know if I’ll ever be as good a dad as my dad.”

84. “As a kid, I’d go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I’d be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles. ”

85. “In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands. ”

86. “I’m filthy rich! ”

87. “My father wasn’t perfect. He had a temper. I took some of that. He would snap, but the older he got, he started calming down. He learned about life, but the thing that he taught my whole family was that family was the most important thing and, no matter what, if a family member needs you, you go and help them out; you get there.”

88. “I read to my kid, but I can’t stand reading.”

89. “My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn’t like that.”

90. “I never thought about what people would say about me. You know, when you don’t go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in

91. “Hollywood, that are supposedly ‘in the know,’ start whispering that you’re gay. If I were gay, I wouldn’t be ashamed to admit it, but I’m not.”

92. “God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.”

93. “Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire! ”

94. “I’m 31 now. I think I’m beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means. ”

95. “I’m not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, ‘All right! Get out of the room.’ ”

96. “I like sitting and writing with my buddies. ”

97. “Through my films I’m eventually trying to one day tell the truth. I don’t know if I’m ever going to get there, but I’m slowly letting pieces of myself out there and then maybe by the time I’m 85, I’ll look back and say, ‘All right, that about sums it up.’ ”

98. “I wasn’t a kid growing up thinking, ‘One day I’ll get an Oscar and make a speech.’ That wasn’t on my mind. ”

99. “To be honest with you, when I got into this I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me. I grew up cursing a lot. It felt natural. My parents told me to stop.”

100. “When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I’m so happy I did a nice thing.”

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