1. Our profession is the only one which works unceasingly to annihilate itself.-Martin H. Fischer
2. The best doctor is the one you run to and can’t find.-Denis Diderot
3. My doctor is wonderful. Once when I couldn’t afford an operation, he touched up the X-rays.-Joey Bishop
4. Doctors are men who prescribe medicines of which they know little, to cure diseases of which they know less, in human beings of whom they know nothing.-Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire
5. My doctor is nice; every time I see him, I’m ashamed of what I think of doctors in general.-Mignon McLaughlin
6. The doctor of the future will give no medicine but will interest his patients in the care of the human frame, in diet and in the cause and prevention of disease.-Thomas Edison
7. We are in the age of M.D., medical darkness, which seeks legislative protection from the light.-James Lendall Basford
8. The man who doctors himself with the aid of medical books, runs the risk of dying of a typographical error.-Evan Esar
9. Doctors think a lot of patients are cured who have simply quit in disgust.-Don Herold
10. Disease increases in proportion to the increase in the number of doctors in a place.-Mahatma Gandhi
11. You may not be able to read a doctor’s handwriting and prescription, but you’ll notice his bills are neatly typewritten.-Earl Wilson
12. An ignorant doctor is the aide de camp of death.-Avicenna
13. You need a good bedside manner with doctors or you will get nowhere.-William S. Burroughs
14. Doctors always think anybody doing something they aren’t is a quack; also they think all patients are idiots.-Flannery O’Connor
15. You can’t judge the ability of a doctor by the amount of praise the undertakers give him.-Evan Esar
16. My doctor told me I shouldn’t work out until I’m in better shape. I told him, All right; don’t send me a bill until I pay you.-Steven Wright
17. A great doctor kills more people than a great general.-G.W. Leibniz
18. Surgeons must be very careful when they take the knife! Underneath their fine incisions. Stirs the Culprit Life!-Emily Dickinson
19. Though the doctors treated him, let his blood, and gave him medications to drink, he nevertheless recovered.-Leo Tolstoy
20. Doctors don’t seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.-Joe Haldeman
21. A doctor whose breath smells has no right to medical opinion.-Martin H. Fischer
22. Though fancy may be the patient’s complaint, necessity is often the doctor’s.-Zimmermann
23. My intent was to carry out my duty as a doctor, to end their suffering. Unfortunately, that entailed, in their cases, ending of the life.-Jack Kevorkian
24. The doctor is not unfrequently death’s pilot fish.-G. D. Prentice
25. It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome.-H. W. SHAW
26. The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.-Jonathan Swift
27. I know of nothing more laughable than a doctor who does not die of old age.-Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire
28. People pay the doctor for his trouble; for his kindness they still remain in his debt.-Seneca
29. A wealthy doctor who can help a poor man, and will not without a fee, has less sense of humanity than a poor ruffian, who kills a rich man to supply his necessities.-Joseph Addison