1. Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.-Anonymous
2. You know what the secret to weight loss is? Don’t eat much.-Simon Cowell
3. Diets are for those who are thick and tired of it.-Mary Tyler Moore
4. Successful weight loss takes programming, not willpower.-Phil Mcgraw
5. Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.-Charles M. Schulz
6. The cardiologist’s diet: If it tastes good, spit it out.-Anonymous
7. Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.-Dan Bennett
8. The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you are off it.-Jackie Gleason
9. At the end of every diet, the path curves back to the trough.-Mason Cooley
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10. Saying yes to the skinny jeans by saying no to the donuts.-Betsy Canas Garmon
11. Here’s the secret to weight loss: It’s all about crowding out, not cutting out.-Kathy Freston
12. When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won’t dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn’t taste that bad.-Janette Barber
13. I have gained and lost the same ten pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have-Jane Wagner
14. Drinking three glasses of water before every meal will help you lose weight, because you will burn a lot of calories running to the bathroom.-Anonymous
15. My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.-Orson Welles
16. My advice if you insist on slimming: Eat as much as you like, just don’t swallow it.-Harry Secombe
17. I lied on my Weight Watchers list. I put down that I had 3 eggs, but they were Cadbury chocolate eggs.-Caroline Rhea
18. A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline.-Herbert B. Prochnow
19. The first thing you lose on a diet is brain mass.-Margaret Cho
20. A diet is just code for a time when you eat food you dislike and still feel hungry.-Anonymous
21. The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books, how not to eat what you’ve just learned how to cook.-Andy Rooney
22. If you believe that weight loss requires self-deprivation, I’m going to teach you otherwise.-Robert Atkins
23. I’m allergic to food. Every time I eat it breaks out into fat.-Jennifer Greene Duncan
24. I tried every diet in the book. I tried some that weren’t in the book. I tried eating the book. It tasted better than most of the diets.-Dolly Parton
25. The only way to lose weight is to check it as airline baggage.-Peggy Ryan
26. I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.-Mae West
27. The trouble with jogging is that by the time you realize you’re not in shape for it, it’s too far to walk back.-Franklin Jones
28. No one wakes up in the morning and says, I want to gain 150 pounds and I will start right now!-Tricia Cunningham
29. Weight loss is not the key to your dreams. The truth is there is no lock and the door is flimsy.-Golda Poretsky