1. A man in love is not complete until he is married. Then he is finished.-Zsa Zsa Gabor
2. An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.-Agatha Christie
3. Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth or burn down your house, you can never tell.-Joan Crawford
4. Love is a lot like a backache, it doesn’t show up on X-rays, but you know it’s there.-George Burns
5. Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one.-Fran Lebowitz
6. A guy knows he’s in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.-Tim Allen
7. Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.-Carroll Bryant
8. I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?-Jean Illsley Clarke
9. True love is like ghosts, which everyone talks about and few have seen.-Francois de la Rochefoucauld
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10. Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener-Pauline Thomason
11. Love doesn’t drop on you unexpectedly; you have to give off signals, sort of like an amateur radio operator.-Helen Gurley Brown
12. I had a dream that i still loved you…I think I woke up screaming.-Christine
13. It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes.-Lucille Ball
14. I love you so much I’d fight a bear for you. Well not a grizzly bear because they have claws, and not a panda bear because they know Kung Fu… But a care bear, I’d definitely fight a care bear for you.-Anonymous
15. If you text ‘I love you’ to a person and the person writes back an emoji – no matter what that emoji is, they don’t love you back.-Chelsea Peretti
16. I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.-Steven Wright
17. Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.-Albert Einstein
18. Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses.-Thomas Dewar
19. I love you more than coffee, but please don’t make me prove it.-Elizabeth Evans
20. All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.-Charles M. Schulz
21. Love is a mutual self-giving which ends in self-recovery.-Fulton J. Sheen
22. If you love ’em in the morning with their eyes full of crust; if you love ’em at night with their hair full of rollers, chances are, you’re in love.-Miles Davis
23. You can’t put a price tag on love. But if you could, I’d wait for it to go on sale.-Hussein Nishah
24. In any perfect relationship men should remember it’s a matter of direction; she takes what’s right and you take what’s left.-Solitaire Parke
25. Love is not having to hold in your farts anymore.-Bree Luckey
26. My wife and I were happy for 20 years – then we met.-Rodney Dangerfield
27. Love is a sweet dream and marriage is the alarm clock.-Jewish Proverb
28. Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.-Judith Viorst
29. Love is an electric blanket with somebody else in control of the switch.-Cathy Carlyle