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50 Letterkenny Quotes That Will Amaze You

Letterkenny
1. “We only got one shot at this. One chance. One win. You know? Vomit on your mom’s spaghetti, or whatever that talking singer says.” -Wayne

 

2. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a f*ckin’ tire down a hill.” -Wayne

 

3. “I think you come in men enough for all of us.” -Wayne
4. “You’re made of spare parts, aren’t you, bud?” -Wayne

 

5. “And I suggest you let that one marinate.” -Wayne

 

6. “Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?” -Wayne

 

7. “Not my pig, not my farm.” -Wayne

 

8. “Oh, get off the cross, we need the wood.” -Wayne

 

9. “What’s up with your body hair, you big shoots? You look like a 12-year-old Dutch girl.” -Wayne

 

10. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s *eets a good scrubbin’.” -Wayne

 

11. “You seen a ‘coon havin’ s*x with a barn cat on top of your truck? F*ck what’s the nature of that David Suzuki.” -Wayne

 

12. “It’s a hard life picking stones and pulin’ teats, but as sure as God’s got sandals, it beats fightin’ dudes with treasure trails.” -Wayne

 

13. “Your dad says guys with big trucks have little di*ks. And that makes sense cuz you want a real big truck and got a real little d**k.” -Wayne

 

14. “Oh, come on, kitten. I won’t tell anyone.” -Wayne

 

15. “Tim’s, McDonald’s, and the beer store are all closed on Christmas Day. And that’s your whole world right there.” -Wayne

 

16. “You wish there was a pied piper for possums. But there isn’t, so you’re just gonna have to keep picking ‘em off with a .22.” -Wayne

 

17. “If you have a problem with the majestic Canadian Goose, then you have a problem with me.” -Wayne

 

18. “You’d best be preparin’ for a Donny Brook if you think I’m going to that super soft birthday party of yours.” -Wayne

 

19. “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” -Wayne

 

20.  “Here’s a poem. Starlight, star bright, why the fuck you got earrings on? Bet your lobes ain’t the only thing that got a hole punched in ’em.” -Wayne

 

21. “Let’s go easy over there, Squirrelly Dan.” -Wayne

 

22. “We need backup, boys.” -Wayne

 

23.  “You knew your pal had come into money when he started throwing out perfectly good pistachios like he was above cracking ‘em open with a box cutter like the rest of us.” -Wayne

 

24.  “Yeah. Oh, hey, look at you, ground.” -Wayne

 

25.  “Nice onesie. Does it come in men’s? -Wayne

 

26. “I wish you weren’t so fucking awkward, bud.” -Wayne

 

27.  “Don’t forget to also check out these hilarious Waterboy quotes that will remind you that you can do it” -Wayne

 

28.  “Where’s the sacrifice?” -Wayne

 

29. “Oh, c’mon, where’s your jam, bud?” -Reilly

 

30. “Where’s the sacrifice?” -Jonesy

 

31. “That was well brought up. Too bad you weren’t.” -Katy

 

32. “Well, I’d say give your balls a tug, but it looks like yer pants are doin’ it for ya.” -Wayne

 

33. “It’s like algebra…why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can’t you just go fuck yourself?” -Wayne

 

34. “You naturally care for a companionship, but I guess there’s a lot worse things than playing a little one-man couch hockey in the dark.” -Wayne

 

35. “I want to give back to the community by helping people find love.” -Wayne

 

36. “The world needs less Facebook and more Face-to-Face!” -Wayne

 

37. “Every woman knows that the way to a man’s heart is not through his zipper, it’s through his stomach.” -Wayne

 

38. “Oh I’m stomping the brakes, put that idea right through the fucking windshield.” -Wayne

 

39. “You’re a cup of baby carrots, ya fucking asshole.” -Wayne

 

40. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.” -Wayne

 

41.  “If I was a Dr. Seuss book, I’d be The Fat in the Hat.” -Katy

 

42. “You’re pretty good at wrestlin’ there, Katy, and that’s what I appreciates about you.” -Squirrelly Dan

 

43. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” -Gail

 

44. “Closest you’re gettin’ to any action this weekend is givin’ the dairy cow’s teets a good scrubbin’.” -Wayne

 

45. “Your sister’s hot, Wayne! There I said it! I said it! I regret nothing! I regret nothing!” -Squirrelly Dan

 

46. “Well, there’s nothing better than a fart. Except for kids falling off bikes, maybe. Fuck, I could watch kids falling off bikes all day, I don’t give a fuck about your kids.” -Wayne

 

47. “Call me a cake, ‘cause I’ll go straight to your ass, cowboy!” -Wayne

 

48. “I see the muscle shirt came today. Muscles coming tomorrow? Did ya get a tracking number? Oh I hope he got a tracking number. That package is going to be smaller than the one you’re sportin’ now.” -Wayne

 

49. “Buddy you couldn’t wheel a fuckin’ tire down a hill.” -Wayne

 

50. “Fuck you, Jonesy, your life is so pathetic I get a charity tax break just by hanging around you!” — Shoresy

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